THE VITAL IMPORTANCE OF RELATIONSHIPS

"Oil and perfume make the heart glad, and the sweetness of a friend comes from his earnest counsel.  Do not forsake your friend and your father's friend, and do not go to your brother's house in the day of your calamity. Better is a neighbor who is near than a brother who is far away." - Proverbs 27:9-10

Comedian Rodney Dangerfield once quipped, "I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me.  He said I was being ridiculous --- everyone hasn't met me yet."  His joke is a reminder that relationships can be difficult at times.  Yet without relationships, life would be a lonely, horrible experience.

We are, to some extent, impacted by our relationships.  It is said that a wife begins to look like her husband after a few years of marriage.  If you keep company with a person, you tend to pick up on some of his or her quirks and mannerisms. 

Apart from our relationship with God, there is nothing more precious than the relationships we have with our family members.  Though sometimes these relationships may get strained, we would still do nearly anything we could for the members of our family.

Realizing the tremendous importance of relationships, I made this one of my seven life goals:

I WANT TO INVEST IN HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS

I use the word, "invest," to describe the time spent with those I am closest to.  I feel that there are special dividends that we reap personally by spending time with those who are special to us. 

While there are some relationships you can't choose (such as family, co-workers and neighbors), you should be selective about the relationships you can choose.  Let me make a few recommendations:

1.   INVEST IN HAPPY RELATIONSHIPS

There are many people who will drain you emotionally.  You feel depleted after spending just a few minutes with them.  Others are constantly down ... and they want to drag you down with them.  There are some who want people to feel sorry for them all the time.  It is tough to hang around such people.  I think it is better to spend your time with people who make you laugh.  Hang around those who make you feel better about life.  Befriend those who bring out the best in you.

2.   INVEST IN HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS

Some relationships are toxic.  Destructive relationships are to be avoided at all costs.  Stay away from those who are violent, full of hate and critical.  Life is short enough already.  Don't throw away your life by being with such people.  Psalm 1:1 states, "Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers."  Be picky about whom you hang around with.  Furthermore, stay away from those who are manipulative.  If you wish to live a healthy life, keep company with good people.  A healthy relationship is one where you enjoy spending time with them and vice versa.  A healthy relationship consists of respect and kindness.  In the Bible, David & Jonathan represent a healthy relationship.  The two men were great friends and mutual encouragers.  Invest in such a healthy relationship yourself.

3.   INVEST IN HOLY RELATIONSHIPS

Finally, spend time with those who inspire you to be a better Christian.  Find a mature believer and spend time with him or her.  Learn from the wisdom that is available from godly men & women.  If you wish to walk closer to Jesus, spend time with someone who models that lifestyle himself.  You'll be enriched by such a relationship.

Someone has aptly said that a relationship is like a bank account.  When you treat someone with love, kindness and consideration, you make a deposit in the relationship.  If you hurt or offend someone, you make a withdrawal from the relationship.  Some relationships are bankrupt because one or both people have overdrawn from the account.  You see, while it is good to hang around with happy, healthy and holy people, you must ask yourself, "Am I a person that others would want to spend time with?"  If the answer is no, then you need to work on your people skills and improve the relationships you have.  A relationship is a two-way street.  If you don't put anything into a relationship, you shouldn't expect the other person to contribute much either.  Live in such a way that people are glad to see you coming and sad to see you leaving.  

Life is too short to live it alone.