MY DAD

"But I would not have you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning them which are asleep, that ye sorrow not, even as others which have no hope."

- 1 Thessalonians 4:13

Death is never a welcome guest at any home. This week, my immediate family has faced the heartbreaking encounter of death. Although we knew, for some time, this event was coming, it did not soften the blow it gave us.

There is no easy way for a family to deal with death. If death comes unexpectedly, an element of shock is part of the ordeal. If death comes slowly, the family has to deal with the declining health of the family member, hospital visits and long term emotional pain.

My father has not had good health in many years. In 1991, a cyst was found on his brain stem. Doctors removed a portion of the cyst at that time, but much still remained. Obviously, headaches were a regular part of his life. The cyst had other side-effects which made his life painful and difficult.

To make things worse, Dad developed atrial fibrillation. This, coupled with congestive heart failure and occasional pneumonia, made his medical situation very serious. He spent more than one extended period in the hospital. Prior to this week, there were three separate occasions when his medical prognosis looked grim. In fact, when he was in the hospital this past August, the ICU doctor told our family to prepare for his death. Each time Dad faced a grim prognosis, God came through with a miracle.

This week, however, God chose a different path. It is not the path we wanted, but one that was needed. Dad's condition deteriorated to the point he could not feed himself or get himself out of a chair. When he was moved to the hospice house late Thursday night, we were told that his body was shutting down. Friday morning, at 1:05, Dad moved out of his old house.

I write all of this to give glory to God. God has been good to our family. From the depth of our incredible pain, we give God praise. It is easy to sing when all is well, but when your heart is broken, it is much more challenging.

We praise God for allowing us to have Dad all this time. Dad was 85 when he died. When he was released from the hospital in August after a close call with death, I realized that God had given us a brief dispensation of time to be with him. We are eternally grateful for that.

On Wednesday night at home, I told him Dad that I loved him. Although he was struggling, he said three times, "I love you." On Thursday night, before leaving hospice house, Dad awoke a little and I told him, "I love you and I'm praying for you." Those were my final words to him. I'm thankful God gave me the chance to say, "I love you," as my final words to him. This was a gift of grace.

Additionally, our family is thankful that Dad went peacefully. He was checked into hospice house after 6 pm Thursday. Mom decided to come home so she could notify family members. We did not expect him to pass during the night, but he did. We were called around 1:15 am with the news that he was gone. We made the trip back to hospice house to see him one more time. Instead of a man in pain, having problems breathing, his body was still and calm. As we were leaving, one of the hospice nurses told us that there were three of them in the room when he passed. One of the nurses prayed for him. When she finished praying, he was gone.

We cherish the times we had with Dad. He loved us. We loved him. It hurts to know that I'll never see him again here on earth. I am comforted in the fact that Dad is free of pain and home with the Lord. I'll never hear Dad say again, "I love you, son." I find solace in the fact that I have a heavenly Father who loves me even more than my earthly father did. He will never leave me. I praise God for this.

Our family does not mourn like those who have no hope. For myself, I have an emotional meltdown often, bursting into tears over Dad's passing. It comes without warning. I'm sure this will continue. Yet I know God is on the throne and in control. Dad --- and the rest of our family --- are in His hands.

As I mentioned before, early on Friday morning, after receiving news that Dad had died, we revisited hospice house. Mom & I were there in his room with Dad's lifeless body. We were about to leave when I offered to pray. I was choked with emotion as I prayed, "Lord, I love my Dad. I wanted to take him back home with me. You love him more and decided to take him home with You instead."

I love my Dad. I will see him again very soon.